"Leah and I have fun together. We flirt. But she's got a boyfriend that she lives with and I've got a girlfriend back in Boulder."
Yyyyyyyyyeah... not anymore.
Hopefully the realization that they'd pretty much written the epitaphs for their respective relationships struck them in between when the first few episodes were filmed and when they aired. Otherwise, I imagine the past few weeks weren't much fun.
And now that we've gotten the interpersonal BS out of the way, on to business. Hooray for the return of the taste off! And what a disappointment. Not the challenge itself, of course. Lee Anne did her always excellent work devising and preparing the challenge, not to mention the sauces and soups for it. But for lack of a better phrase, what a chickenshit collection of chefs. Four ingredients? Seriously? The best we got -- by a wide margin, no less -- was eight from Stefan when he tasted the green curry. I didn't even taste the damn curry, and I'll double that right now:
Coconut Milk, Thai Basil, Galangal, Thai Chiles, Lemongrass, Kaffir Lime Leaf, Fish Sauce, Garlic, Cilantro, Chicken, Onion, Carrot, Celery, Salt, Pepper, Vegetable Oil.
Off to check Lee Anne's ingredient list......... yup, I'm a winner, presuming they would have given me chicken bones for chicken or allowed me to be more specific. I'm guessing either these guys were scared to the point of timidity by the prospect of being embarrassed on television (certainly wouldn't be the first time the tasting challenge has made a chef look bad), or they were worried that Lee Anne worked in a few gotchas by omitting subtle ingredients that would commonly be used in those sauces, thereby ensuring they were actually tasting rather than guessing (she didn't, but she should have). At any rate, while the Name That Tune tournament format was fun, it wasn't quite as illuminating as previous iterations of the tasting challenge, so I don't know that it told us very much. Besides the fact that anybody with a little bit of culinary knowledge and enough taste buds to identify the names of the sauces could have won, that is. Collective fail.
Awesome elimination challenge, though, pretty much across the board. Buzz seems to be that most people considered this the best episode since the first. Lee Anne helpfully pointed out that this was the most straightforward elimination challenge since the first. I realize not every episode can be so, but do the math, guys. And most importantly for me, this elimination told us a lot of things about a lot of people. It's the first time that I feel like I came out of an episode with more answers than questions.
As touched on in the postmortem thread, however, and hotly debated in the comments that followed, I was flabbergasted by the judging. My surprise at the winner waned after reading about how little the judges knew of the genesis of the dish at the time they made their decision (something I'm normally aware of, but Tom's presence in the kitchen during service threw me), but what grew was my surprise over just how varied opinion is over who deserved to win. And in considering why different people felt that Ariane, Jamie or Radhika should have won, I started to see -- in no small part due to the late hour, I'm sure -- a metaphor for what it takes to win Top Chef in their contributions to that success. That they all played significant parts in the success of that dish and performed their roles well is without question. But in doing so, they embodied the three traits I've long considered the pillars of Top Chef success: technique, palate, and creativity. Ariane was technique, searing off and roasting the lamb just right, utilizing her tools and skills to bring the most out of the ingredient. Radhika was the palate, taking largely conventional flavor profiles but mixing and balancing the marinade and the raita that comprised much if not most of the flavor foundation of the dish just right. And Jamie was the creativity, coming up with the concept, making intelligent use of the tools (read: Radhika and Ariane) at her disposal, adding the touches that made the dish striking and unique, and driving the concept to the wire. And I wonder if the way people perceive the relative value of those attributes informs who they felt should have won that challenge. Of course, they're all essential. But speaking personally, while I don't mean to downplay the skill involved in preparing perfect protein, anybody can be trained to do technical things like cooking lamb. A good palate is an innate skill that you either have or you don't, but it can be honed, and perhaps more importantly it's expected, because if you don't have it you're in the wrong business. But the ability to create truly unique dishes that surprise and excite even the most experienced diners? That's a rare ability even among professional chefs, and it's what separates those who competently toil in obscurity from those who make names for themselves. During the first half of every Top Chef season, the judges are looking to determine who does and doesn't possess technique and a palate. Then, once the chaff has been removed, they redirect their attention to determining who possesses true creativity and an original, exciting, well-articulated style. That's who wins Top Chef, and that's who should have won this challenge.
This week's rankings are the first that are starting to feel truly coherent to me. There are a few wildcards out there, but for the most part I feel like I have a good grip on where all of these chefs stand. There's a long way to go, but the rankings are starting to look forward a lot more than they're looking back. As such, there are a few placements that I've no doubt will generate some dissent. But five episodes in, I'm starting to get a real feel for where these chefs are coming from, and I'm becoming less concerned with the scoreboard and more concerned with whether or not they've demonstrated the kind of traits they'll need to win. And so, with those three pillars of Top Chef success in mind, here are this week's rankings:
The power rankings are not purely a prediction of who is most likely to win, or an assessment of last episode's dishes, or a reflection of the contestants' historical performance, but rather a nebulous amalgam of all three, combined with a little bit of gut feeling, to provide a relative measure of current awesomeness.
| 1 |
Jamie |
|
Quickfires |
0
|
3
|
0
|
| Last Week: 3 |
|
Eliminations |
0
|
3
|
1
|
Yup, number one is back. As of the end of episode five, Jamie is the only one in whom I have complete confidence. To be sure, there are many true contenders and I'm not prepared to declare Jamie some kind of runaway favorite, but she's displaying a compelling style, she's executing cleanly, and if not for 15 more seconds on the clock with her egg last week, she has not been called out a single time for any problems with seasoning, flavoring... anything. But for that one gaffe of timing, she's been flawless, and that's remarkable. She doesn't have the wins, but she's displaying the big three (see above) with consistency and authority, and that's why she's frustrated. And while I'm a little surprised to find that I'm not that bothered by her recent attitude (I'm usually quite sensitive to bad attitudes), I'm forced to conclude that it's because I feel the same way she does. She's been the best, most consistent performer out there and it's crazy that she hasn't brought home a win yet. Barring some freakish disaster that gets her kicked off long before her time, that won't continue. She's going to start racking up wins, and the fact that she's still looking for the first may even help by making her a little more hungry. Just take that vadouvan and stick it in your back pocket, Jamie. It's good for one more shot before it'll start getting you into trouble. Save it for when you really need it.
|
|
| 2 |
Leah |
|
Quickfires |
2
|
2
|
1
|
| Last Week: 2 |
|
Eliminations |
0
|
2
|
0
|
Leah may be a little high, here, but I'm not prepared to award the second spot to the folks who had serious upward momentum this week. That said, I'm not uncomfortable with Leah at number two... when she's performing, that is. Along with Stefan, as I mentioned last week, she's the one I see putting together the most compelling dishes. The problem is that she seems to alternate kicking ass and phoning it in. I'm reluctant to ding her for the sea bass, partly because it sounds as though the edit came across much harsher than reality, and partly because I get the (unconfirmed) feeling she was content to kind of sit back and let Fabio drive. But she's still the author of a few of the most compelling dishes I've seen so far, and my hunch is she'll step it up when it gets to crunch time, and is probably sharp enough to avoid trouble until then.
|
|
| 3 |
Stefan |
|
Quickfires |
1
|
3
|
1
|
| Last Week: 4 |
|
Eliminations |
1
|
1
|
0
|
Like Leah, Stefan has made some of what I consider to be the most compelling dishes we've seen so far. I'm a touch more concerned about him and I'm leaving him below Leah for the moment because a couple of his slip-ups -- the world sausage and now the flat tomato terrine -- seem like they might implicate his palate. But he may have just gotten a little carried away with the world dog, and the terrine looks nice and somewhere (of course, now I can't find it) I recall the suggestion that it may have just needed some salt, so I'm not ringing the alarm bells, but I'm paying attention. Of course, the big story about Stefan this week is his emergence as the season's designated asshole, and yet I still find myself liking him. I guess it goes back to the adage that you'd better be able to back it up, and for the most part he has. Here's the thing. For multiple seasons now, we've been chiding chefs who don't speak up, who aren't assertive, who don't say something when they see disaster on the horizon. Stefan could certainly be doing it more delicately, but that's what he's doing, and what he's giving is mostly good advice. That Jeff got his sorbet out intact is great, but Stefan's caution, while overconfident, was smart. His assessment of Gene's deconstructed sushi concept? Dead on. Between the revelation that he's married and divorced the same woman twice and is currently wooing the house lesbian suggests that this good sense doesn't extend to women, but when he gets insistent about food, at least it's because he's thinking.
|
|
| 4 |
Jeff |
|
Quickfires |
0
|
1
|
0
|
| Last Week: 7 |
|
Eliminations |
0
|
1
|
1
|
I expect some will feel I have Jeff a little high here, but I've had a good feeling about Jeff from the start and he's put together two strong weeks in a row. I think he's found his footing and I expect that success to continue. Black Cherokee sorbet is one of my favorite secret weapons, so, you know, thanks for outing that one on national television, Jeff. Of course, I just blend the pulp with simple syrup and use it as a dish component, whereas Jeff does his with shallots, celery, tarragon, orange, cayenne, vinegar, hydrated basil seeds and fried celery leaves and makes a showstopping dish out of it, which is why he's an executive chef competing for $100,000 on television and I'm writing a food blog.
|
|
| 5 |
Radhika |
|
Quickfires |
1
|
1
|
1
|
| Last Week: 8 |
|
Eliminations |
0
|
2
|
0
|
Radhika's certainly the trendy pick for dark horse right now, and she's growing on me as well, but I'm making this a cautious number five. There are those who feel this should have been her win and are hopping on the bandwagon, but I'd like to point out that while I'm sure she nailed the marinade and raita, they were both very, very straightforward, and this week's lamb aside, her two most notable dishes were the kabob dog and the vegan stuffing. That I've bumped her two spots has as much to do with what she's saying as what she's doing. It's easy to make fun of her for saying she doesn't want to be pigeonholed as the Indian chef while continuing to make Indian-influenced dishes, but some of the comments she made in this week's episode suggest that she's actually going about this in a smart manner. Specifically, she's made it clear that she has no problem using Indian flavors, but she wants to do so in more subtle, modern ways. It seems what she's truly concerned about is being pigeonholed as the traditional Indian chef, and that's wise. But if she can continue to bring Indian flavors to modern, creative dishes, that's a great route to the title.
|
|
| 6 |
Fabio |
|
Quickfires |
0
|
2
|
1
|
| Last Week: 5 |
|
Eliminations |
1
|
3
|
0
|
Fabio's the one I'm having trouble with this week. Conventional wisdom is that he's one of the heavy favorites, and his record would seem to bear that out. But I look back at his body of work thus far and I have a hard time getting jazzed about much of it. He's been no less consistent than Radhika, Jeff, Stefan or Leah, but his peaks just don't grab me the way theirs do. More troubling, he seems prone to making dishes like the one his team made this week -- competent, unexciting, and just not as crisp as they could be. His winning dishes seem a little pedestrian at times, and his losing dishes just come across as lackluster. Melissa hasn't contributed much to this competition other than bangs, but her assessment of the sea bass was dead on. Cornmeal crusted fish over roasted corn and a corn puree may taste fine, but it's crying out for a little pizzazz and he's only managed that on one occasion. The bottom line is that when I look over everything he's made thus far and ask myself if any of it is worthy of the finals, with the possible exception of a carpaccio the success of which largely relied on a (very good and well-utilized) gimmick, I'm forced to answer no.
|
|
| 7 |
Hosea |
|
Quickfires |
1
|
3
|
0
|
| Last Week: 9 |
|
Eliminations |
0
|
1
|
1
|
Hosea's the one who I feel probably has the most potential in either direction. He's kind of been all over the map. His dishes alternately seem mature and clumsy. He's done wild and sophisticated with his smoked fish trio in episode one. He's done simple and sophisticated with his gazpacho this week, a highly traditional soup topped with a highly nontraditional garnish of cucumber, bell pepper, watermelon, mint and lime. He's made dishes that the judges found well-balanced and flavorful, but he also seemed unable to see that there was a problem with his crab salad, much less explain what that problem might have been. I honestly don't know whether he's headed up or down, and neither would surprise me.
|
|
| 8 |
Ariane |
|
Quickfires |
0
|
1
|
0
|
| Last Week: 10 |
|
Eliminations |
3
|
3
|
2
|
And we come to what I imagine will be the most controversial placement this week. She's won a share of 60% of the elimination challenges, and I have her at number eight. I figured it was coming, and for the first time on Wednesday I was accused of anti-Ariane bias (it's okay, Gilby, I can take it... bring it on :-). To be fair, describing her team role this week as "glorified prep monkey" was perhaps a little over the top. And while I respect that she fought for those extra two minutes she needed, let me reiterate that she may very well have been saved from elimination by the other teams that pitched in to help plate, and an easy to miss clip in the episode shows she even received warning from Jamie that she wasn't leaving herself enough time. But let me state again, I like Ariane. Honest. With the exception of Jamie and maybe Jeff, there's nobody I'd be more happy to see bust out a wildly creative, stunningly executed finals-winning kind of dish next week. And I don't mean to overlook the skill involved in nailing your proteins. But as I said above, when we get to the later stages of the competition, the judges start seeking out what could be described as a mature artistic voice. They want a chef whose character is on the plate and whose technique and creativity separate him or her from the rest. People who love food as much as the Top Chef judges see it as an art, and there's nothing they want more than to discover the next distinctive artistic culinary voice. Think back on the previous Top Chef finalists, remember their final menus and consider, if you were shown those dishes without context and asked to identify which chef out of the entire field made them, whether you'd be able to do so. I'm betting you could do so with ease. Now review Ariane's dishes so far and consider whether you see a distinctive character and style or a random collection of sometimes solid dishes that could have been made by anybody. If this is a competition between concert pianists, she's done nothing more than hit the right notes, and hasn't even done that consistently. Everybody above her has stumbled as well, some of them more so, but all of them have already started articulating a very personal, distinctive and sometimes compelling style. Even last season's Antonia, who has drawn a lot of unfair comparisons for a lack of creativity (Ariane hasn't shown herself to be a fraction of the chef Antonia was), had established a sort of minimal, refined neo-European style at this point in the competition. Looking at Ariane's dishes so far, can anybody claim that she's articulating any kind of personal style at all? That's why I can't put her any higher, no matter how many challenges she wins.
|
|
| 9 |
Gene |
|
Quickfires |
0
|
0
|
0
|
| Last Week: 6 |
|
Eliminations |
1
|
2
|
1
|
Whoa, man, did Gene expose himself this week. Seriously, every nagging misgiving I had about him pretty much came to bear all at once. Where to even start with the problems? First, neo-sushi isn't new. There's nothing that somebody, somewhere hasn't tried to stuff inside rolled rice and nori, and I'm fairly confident that includes shrimp and beef. Not that there's anything wrong with trying (though his surf and turf maki idea just sounds clumsy and grossly ill-conceived to me), but you're not giving anybody a "new conception of sushi" here, Gene... get over yourself. Second, while I appreciate that sashimi in Korea sometimes is an assemble-your-own affair, "deconstructed" has become as dirty a word as "fusion". The moment you hear yourself say it, stop and tread very carefully. Third, Stefan was absolutely right, even if his criticism didn't need the gender specificity. Food nerds, except when it comes to certain traditional ethnic cuisines, don't want to assemble their own food. We already know how we cook. The whole point of the exercise is for us to see how you cook. Fourth, even if the DIY approach were appropriate someplace, that place is not an event like Gail's shower. Fifth, particularly if you've paid any attention to the history of this show, letting fried items sit is a baaaaaaaaad idea. Sixth, what kind of sushi chef tries to "save" botched rice rather than simply remaking it on site? And seventh, what kind of sushi chef makes rice the day before in the first place? Seriously, what a shockingly complete and total lack of good sense all around, which is a shame. I really like the guy, he's turned out a couple of interesting-looking dishes and he really looked like he might be able to bring some creativity. But that dish was so wrong in so many ways, if he couldn't see that train wreck coming, there's no hope for him. The trouble with fusion cuisines, even natural ones, is that you can come up with some wild, interesting stuff, but unless you work very intelligently and carefully and exercise some restraint, the failures can be shockingly bad. Creativity in food is a tricky thing. You need to make interesting, innovative choices, but they also have to be good choices and I'm not convinced that Gene can see the difference. I'm sure there are more good ideas in there, and he might make a little more noise before he gets the axe, but it's just a matter of time.
|
|
| 10 |
Hootie |
|
Quickfires |
0
|
2
|
0
|
| Last Week: 11 |
|
Eliminations |
0
|
1
|
1
|
I feel similarly about Carla and Ariane, except that while I think Ariane might have the ability to step it up, I suspect we've already seen Carla's best. The fact that she was so enthusiastically behind the DYI sushi didn't help this impression. That said, her kookiness has definitely grown on me and I kinda hope she sticks around for a bit. She's going to have to speak up, though. There's a fine line between sticking up for yourself and throwing somebody else under the bus, and in a valiant attempt not to completely undercut Danny, she failed to look out for herself. She didn't have to call him out. When Padma expressed shock that she hadn't tasted the mushrooms on her salad, all it would have taken was something along the lines of, "By the time I saw they'd been added, they were already on most of the plates and there wouldn't have been time to re-plate, so I rolled with it," to defend herself and make it clear that Danny was the one at fault without being accusatory. I'm not one of those folks who believes you have to be cutthroat to win Top Chef. I like to think there's a classy path to victory. But that said, even if I thought she possessed the necessary skill, I think she might actually be too nice to win this thing.
|
|
| 11 |
Melissa |
|
Quickfires |
0
|
1
|
0
|
| Last Week: 13 |
|
Eliminations |
0
|
1
|
1
|
I give Melissa credit for being the only one on Team Blue to recognize that their dish needed some oomph... not enough to actually move her anywhere in the standings, but credit, nonetheless. And since she's gone back into full invisibility mode this episode, I'll take this space to address Team Blue's weak effort. As mentioned in last week's rankings, blue was the tough knife to pull. But there were better directions than the one they chose, and I wonder if their less than stellar effort was at least partly due to the fact that they were trying so hard to sell the dish. Deep water fish, blue corn, green and yellow sauces... they may have actually paid too much attention to the theme. Others have pointed out a blueberry dessert as an obvious choice, but given the surprising number of desserts we've already seen, it wouldn't surprise me if these guys have already exhausted their supply. What I wonder, however, is whether they even considered bleu cheese. Clearly representing the theme, elegant, versatile and the perfect centerpiece for a final course, sweet or savory. They could have had a lot of fun with that. Too bad.
|
|
| 12 |
Danny |
|
Quickfires |
0
|
1
|
1
|
| Last Week: 12 |
|
Eliminations |
0
|
0
|
2
|
I realize this is a topic that would have been better suited to episode one rather than Danny's departure, but since there seems to be so much debate over whether Guido or Goombah is the most proper politically incorrect term for his beefiness, I'd like to point out that last time I checked, Gagnon was a French surname. In any case, this elimination surprised precisely nobody and has been a long time coming, even just five episodes in. Some feel it should have been Gene (Danny included), and I don't think that's unreasonable, but in the end they both screwed up pretty badly. The difference is that one understood that he'd screwed up while the other continued to insist that the judges "didn't get" it. I almost wonder if Danny overstudied. He seemed to think that Gail has a thing for pickles. Did he watch a ton of TC tape and pick up something I didn't? And "stand up for your dish" has certainly been a common theme through the first four seasons, but you'd think he'd have the good sense to adapt to the situation and realize that in this scenario, at least, staunchly insisting that the sushi was a great dish was standing directly in the path of an oncoming bus. You're not going to win this one, Danny. Anyway, the guy wasn't without his successes, but he had to go and this was as good a time as any. I, for one, can do without his charisma or his splooge.
|
EPISODE SIX SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Another great quickfire this week! No haute cuisine here, but one-pot adaptations of holiday classics is a great test of skill and creativity. This is one of those challenges where it'll be telling to see who gets it and embraces the one-pot simplicity, and who sees it as a physical obstacle that has to be hurdled by shuttling ingredients in and out of the pot. The former will do well. The latter will get dinged for it. Even if they do a good job, my suspicion is that the judges will look unfavorably upon something that, while technically allowed, is sort of contrary to the spirit of the challenge. We'll see.
And then it's the holidays with my old nemesis, Martha. Though the truth is that, for reasons I can't explain, I feel much more warmly towards the ex-con iteration of the ultimate hostess. Or maybe it's just that I've now seen evil's true face and Martha's faux charm seems downright quaint in comparison. In any case, it looks like we're in for a roller coaster ride. I'm down on catering in general, but I like a good hors d'oeuvres challenge so this should be fun. Busted refrigeration gives me the jibblies, though. If it was truly an accident, it's really unfortunate. If it was an intentional curveball, that's downright nasty. But either way, such a disastrous and unpredictable occurrence will wreak some serious havoc. In a situation like that, nobody's safe. If any of my favorites get killed off because of something like that, I'll be pissed. Can we just axe Melissa after the quickfire and make the elimination an exhibition match? No? Damn.
Discuss!
